quite a while ago a posted a picture of a hand stitched project i was working on...
well, i've finally finished it.
and the meaning behind is one quite dear to my heart.
almost exactly a year ago we were expecting to welcome a new baby into our lives.
but that didn't happen.
it broke my heart.
but as time and prayer seem to do - i have healed.
and we are now ready to welcome our baby girl into our family in just a few weeks.
that said - i will never completely forget having the miscarriage, and i don't think i want to -
i want to keep a special place in my heart for the little one we've yet to meet.
that led me to stitching the crabapple.
it was spring time when everything happened, and our crabapple looked amazing.
it's directly out the view of our kitchen window,
and i can remember looking out and seeing the beautiful pale pink and white blooms.
as the kansas wind blew, it was like it was snowing.
this gave me a sense of peace.
as time passed, i knew i wanted to make something that would allow me to remember without dwelling.
that's what this project was all about.
each lazy daisy, and each french knot were stitched with love.
today was just a normal day for us, but at the same time it was one of those days that everything seemed to fall together and be the way i had always pictured things when i thought about being a mom and a wife.
(well, if you forget about the wasted trip to walmart to try to get tires - but that doesn't count right now!)
there was story time...
our second time at the "big kid" one that ben goes to by himself.
(i've still been staying in the library, but he's on his own - for 45 minutes!)
and there was the brisk fall weather...
that we enjoyed by having afternoon snacks outside,
and then playing in the leaves.
to finish our evening we had pizza,
and then popcorn while we watched the charlie brown shows on tv.
ben cracked up several times when he saw charlie brown's ghost costume and said,
"he cut too many holes!"
i've still been cleaning - or nesting - whichever you prefer.
and i know you are thinking "gee, how many pictures is she going to take of her laundry on the clothesline?"
honestly, i'm not sure.
i may not have the time or money to make our home as perfectly decorated or styled as i would like,
but i can sure CLEAN what i already have.
and that makes me feel good.
for example, these curtains.
definitely not something i would ever choose, but they have been washed, dried in the sunshine and ironed.
and you may think i might be a little obsessive, even for a pregnant lady, but i think i have reason.
i may have told our story before, but we moved into our home just three weeks before ben was born.
i never really had a chance to "nest".
and on top of our recent move to our first home in a new town, where we knew only a handful of people...
jake had started a new job.
jake still had to finish his thesis.
we had been living apart for three months.
we were just learning to live on one income.
we met our family doctor for the first time at ben's first week appointment.
ben and i did not "click" with breastfeeding.
i thought i would be a cloth diaper mama - nope.
i thought i would be a no formula mama - nope.
so even though we completely adored ben and loved being new parents -
we were exhausted, stressed out and overwhelmed with all the "new" things happening in our life.
and i am really trying to do as much as possible to feel differently this time around.
i've had to let some things go (especially after our unexpected six week shower remodel),
but i am still trying to have a clean home, a little food in the freezer and all the baby necessities on hand.
and this time - you'd better believe it consists of disposable diapers and some bottles.
the one thing i know this time around -
things never go quite like you think they will,
and it's best if you can go with the flow,
instead of coming down on yourself for all the things that aren't going like you planned.
the same morning the curtains were drying, ben was busy playing with his construction vehicles,
and i figured - perfect time to clean the back patio and the big living room window.
i have been trying to better about leaving him alone (and i was in the back yard too) for more independent play time, and trying to avoid running over at the first instant i hear "mom!".
well, all was well until i started cleaning the window.
ben decided that his snack (that he had eaten over thirty minutes ago) was not what he had wanted -
even though it is what he originally said he wanted, and he ate the entire fruit bar - no complaints.
once he started with this he would not stop and things went downhill fast!
let's just say we had almost two hours of crying, shouting, and sobbing.
it was ROUGH!
and even though i'm used to the ups and downs of a certain three year old,
this was an extra difficult morning for me.
and i think i may have to blame my friend mandy -
we had just talked on the phone the night before and were discussing parenting.
i think she jinxed me. :) just kidding mandy!
but we survived and made it through lunch and both enjoyed a nice nap.
today was much better
i also decided to click a picture of myself and baby - 36 weeks this friday!
tomorrow looks like...
story time, grocery store, pizza, popcorn and it's the great pumpkin charlie brown (ABC @ 7pm CST).
our weekend was spent mostly around the house.
cleaning, cooking, and doing some household projects.
we were pretty busy, but still found some time to do some halloween crafts, watch a football game, play a couple games of candyland and go to the park.
my favorite "chore" of the weekend - cleaning our bedroom.
because i changed the quilt on our bed for the fall and winter - and put on the flannel sheets!
in with the crisp bright stars and out with the flower garden.
sometimes a simple change can make such a difference.
and is even better when you don't have to spend anything. :)
did you ever read that book?
i remember it from my younger days, but it must be out of print now because i can't afford it on amazon!
so why are we having jellybeans for breakfast?
well ben loves them - and they are a good reward for using the potty. :)
something we've been struggling with, but seem to be making good progress.
today is a beautiful fall day here in kansas - crisp and cool!
i'm loving the weather, but not the fact that october is half over.
i woke up this morning and immediately began feeling overwhelmed,
and then i glanced at the calendar and counted...
we have been away from home 8 days out of the last 16.
could this possibly be why...
our home is a wreck?
there has been no meal planning lately?
our yard needs a fall clean-up?
laundry is piled high?
and i am not feeling ready for the arrival of our new baby?
mmmmm, i think maybe so. ;)
so, this afternoon i am gathering my thoughts, making my lists, starting to tackle projects,
and praying for some extra energy and patience.
i am also looking at my calendar and feeling more at peace knowing we are scheduled for more time at HOME.
we are officially on our countdown to becoming a family of four and time is flying by.
so at the same time i find myself running around frantically trying to "do" as much as we can before the baby comes, i am also trying to "live" as much as we can - as a family of three.
because i know it's not just our world that's going to be changing - but his too...
yesterday ben and i spent a couple of hours outside at a nature center while dad was in a meeting.
then we all had a nice evening out in the "big city".
it was a good day.
one of these days i'll blog about something else...
maybe my sewing, decorating or etsy shop - you know the things i dream about doing. :)
but for now our life is still revolving around the bath/shower project.
last night jake put in a LONG evening and got the grouting all done.
we chose a light grey grout, and we were a little nervous how dark it looked going on.
but today, after it's been drying, it looks just like we were hoping it would.
still loving the blue glass!
we are super happy with the results!
now - caulking, drying and clean-up.
we originally thought we'd be showering tomorrow evening, but after further reading it looks like waiting 10 days for the grout + sealer we used is the recommended dry time.
and after all the time, money and hard work that's gone into it we've decided to wait the extra time.
october 14th! that's circled on all my calendars.